My first B--- J-- was on camera

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(Story In draft stages)

Back then you had to go north of the city or east, into the desert, to get to the really hot dehydrating dry air. You'd step out of a car from L.A. and step into it and really feel the difference. Sniff the wind, brown brush and scrappy trees all around, sandy dirt instead of soil, but since you're still near the Oasis of L.A. there’s greenery.

And then the mansion. In the middle of this desert scruff of North San Fernando Valley in 1969, was a futuristic structure. Apparently no one lived there. It had two pools, we shot most of the shoot inside at the indoor pool, I think we took pills, drank, smoked "pot," as we did on all the shoots.

They would call Pretty Girl International on Sunset Bouleard and say, send over two males and a female, or female with two burly males...

In the lounge that was the PGI waiting area, would be males and females, thrust across couches and tables, waiting for a call to work. We'd be dispatched out of those Crossroads of the World offices throughout the day. You registered with them, then waited, either at home or in their offices, for jobs to come in.

Crossroads of the World on Sunset Boulevard.

Right next door to Blessed Sacrament Church, in fact the architecture reveals the structure was probably once part of the church structure, earlier in the 1900s.

I think I worked out of PGI, with the church right outside the window*, every day for about six months, or almost every day.

And must have looked out the window and seen Blessed Sacrament Church and its tower. In fact, the priests in the church probably looked out their windows at all the people in the PGI offices waiting for pornography work.

Meanwhile Back at the Ranch

The female and male in the party and I got more languorous as the day proceeded, as we performed our fake sex setups on camera, then took breaks to swim in the pool and drink cocktails, and smoke...

Somehow in the midst of it, you're convinced you're doing something luxurious and elegant, if not artistic. That's how a normal person explains doing porn. An adult victim of a pedophile priest alone in Hollywood age 18 in 1969 was responding to a different set of compulsions.

That was me.

The guy who’d driven us out to this ranch home north of L.A. at one point came out to the pool ready to do more work. He told the male and me to go outside so we could shoot something in the sunlight.

Off away from the house, Male and I were on this blanket doing “art” shots and then the driver-director gave me instructions.

“Put it in your mouth.”

“What?! Put it- what? I never heard of that. Did you ever hear of that?”

Male's response was a lot more enthusiastic than mine. "Uh, yeah, people do it."

I'd never even heard of oral sex before, maybe heard the word Blow job but wasn't sure what it meant. You mean it? Really? I have to do that? He said, yeah.

He aggressively said, yeah.

Then directed it. And I did what he said to do...

****

How did I end up doing porn when I was really a talented actor with potential for a real career, back then in 1969, when it happened, why did it happen?

I remember the scene that began it.

I was in a play, a kind of silly play, a musical, at a theater in Burbank, but I got good reviews. Then my sister, the older sister who is the other victim of Father Horne in our family, showed up for one of the performances. Afterwards she came backstage, came up to me and said,

“I don't know why you are working on a career like this, considering what we are.”

Or something like that.

She said something like that.

And I knew she was right. I knew exactly what she meant and she was right.

Next day in a kind of fugue state, I called the theater and cancelled, told them to replace me with my understudy, then called Pretty Girl International on Sunset Boulevard, because I'd seen their ads in Daily Variety, and I started doing the new X-rated modeling.

By the time I got to this photo shoot in what may today be Thousand Oaks or Agoura Hills, I was still in this kind of mesmerized state.

Whatever Patricia was referring to when she said, “considering what we are,” I got it, deep inside I got it, and next day I was performing in porn.

Ruined my career.
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* As soon as it stops raining, going to head down Sunset Boulevard and get a photo of Crossroads of the World next door to Blessed Sacrament Church, to post here.

* I FOUND A PICTURE: HERE it is and video is coming
I remember, we sat in this upstairs waiting room, and when I went to the building recently to look at it, you can see that from that upstairs waiting room, you are looking out a window right at Blessed Sacrament Church. So I must have been listening to their belfry ring every hour and seen the priests and parishioners.

In this picture you see, the church tower and Crossroads Tower are right next to each other.

But swear to God, I do not remember ever seeing a church there, in all those days I would go to PGI right next door...

The quality of video is awful, still going to go back and get better footage. There is also a statue in the Crossroads that must have once been on the church grounds...

Part of history of mass produced pornography, Pretty Girl International casting agency, was in Crossroads of the World shopping center in 1969. Eerily for me as a pedophile priest rape survivor who became promiscuous and went into porn working through that agency, the Blessed Sacrament Church on Sunset Boulevard sits directly next door, even shares some architecture, with the Crossroads building.

I'm not saying there is a connection between the church and the porn agency, except in my story, as I must have been staring out the window at Blessed Sacrament Church while lining up pornography work in 1969 at Pretty Girl International agency in the building next door.

On Sunset Boulevard.

Strange.

(Took the videos down, they are SO BAD. Going to reshoot them, when it stops raining....)