In the middle of doing my job, I want to write these paragraphs that stream in my head

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You wouldn't believe the temptation to make this story about sex. Boy, could I exploit the hell out of my life by just getting explicit with the sex scenes. But that's never been what it's been about. I mean, even in the middle of all the promiscuity, I never sold it once, it was never about "tricks" in fact- because the person putting the compulsion in me at age five was a priest, I always thought there was something spiritual about it. Like, we are orgasming our way to God... No. But- damn, so many pedophiles use that word "special" you're "special" when they are preparing their targets... When a priest says it to you...

Anyway, I thought having sex with me was some kind of gateway for a man, and it was my job to get to men in important places, and have sex with them, so they would go through this gateway and continue their important work from this new plateau.

Honest, little pudgy often STD ridden me thought I had that kind of power...