Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Maybe It's Time to Go Back to Being Loose, at least to loosen up a little

I can't get this quote out of my head, from Huffington Post around the time the Polanski case was in the new (last week ...)

From the classical French point of view, the US is criminally puritanical about sex as opposed to France , with its own more "liberal" wink-an-eye espousal of affairs under the sheets. Le Monde describes what happened as "Polanski's relations with a young girl," forgetting the word "illegal."

Today a crime like Polanski's would receive a much harsher sentence than in 1978. Now, if Polanski returns for sentencing, legally the most he himself could receive is two years.

Since 1994, when this recovered memory flushed into my head about being with Father Horne at age five on his mat on the floor he used as a bed in the church rectory, I have frozen up, bottled up anything that even resembled sexuality in me.

There is something synthetic, unreal, about the way I've covered myself in baggy clothees, it's no more genuine than the 40 years of promiscuity and see-through blouses I endured, in PTSD reacting to being "sexualized" at age five at the fingertips of a Roman Catholic priest.

It's all a reaction. I'm still reacting... opposite reacting, but being totally buttoned up and frozen isn't healthy either.

Now I need a reaction to the reaction, or some kind of balancing out.

ANOTHER POINT to elaborate on soon:

My daughter has decided to get pregnant to give her life more motivation, and worse yet, the guy she’s getting pregnant with is a Republican.

A broke Republican, you know, the ones who read Ayn Rand by candlelight in a tent where they live under a freeway overpass.

My daughter found a broke homeless Republican and now she wants to get pregnant with him. He's probly going to end up balking back to Virginia and be scared to death of California girls for the rest of his life.

And Lizzie and I get to be single mom and single grandma in the flats of East Hollywood.

This too shall go onward...
I mean I'm even beginning to wonder if I was really gay, but being fingered by Father Horne when I was five years old SO SKEWERED me, especially because that experience determined my sexual behavior. Going after men.

When for all I know I'm really a dyke. I mean look at me, I'm masculine and husky, like to wear army boots, walk like a mountain climber on flat ground.

I mean, I look like a man, my face. And I find myself weirdly attracted to Rachel Maddow and Ellen Degeneres.

What can I do? I'm sixty-one years old and after the last few years of hearing details of what priests used to do to altar boys under all those skirts they wear, I have been sexually lobotomized.

Still I will always wonder what could have been...


POLANSKI PAYS 4 and a half million and gets out on Bail

City of Angels Celebrates:

If anyone complains Polanski should be in prison, remember Roman Catholic priests committed much worse crimes in the last 50 years. The bishops left thousands of crime victims among parish children, and we did not even get an admission of guilt from our rapists.

If the USA really wants to prosecute sex crime felons, first it start with Roger Mahony, Archbishop of Los Angeles. And while you are extraditing sex criminals, Cardinals Law and Levada are hiding out at the Vatican right now, to avoid prosecution. Read City of Angels blog at http://cityofangels5.blogspot.com for ongoing coverage of these crimes and coverups in the Catholic Church.

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